Dans mon nouveau roman « Tirez sur le masque pour libérer l’oxygène », loin de moi l’idée de fustiger les Ressources Humaines de nos chères entreprises !
Et pourtant … ce livre se voulait sincèrement être porteur de messages, offrir des axes de développement personnel à travers le ton de la narration. Un récit avec pour trame de fond, le monde de l’entreprise, finance ou aéronautique, peu importe, les problématiques sont souvent les mêmes dans les grands groupes. Même trame, même drames.
Il n’y pas de place pour l’individu, quelque soit l’angle pris avec sa longue vue.
Il est vrai que j’aborde de manière factuelle ce qu’est devenue, à mon sens, la pression supportée par les salariés. Dans ce livre disponible depuis mars en librairie et sur Amazon, j’y dépeins les relations avec les Ressources Humaines, ultime barrage entre le salarié et son manager. Mais ceci n’est que mon jugement, qui plus est relaté dans une histoire romancée et non par le biais d’une enquête journalistique. Il aborde la profession des Ressources Humaines, et non toutes les personnes de ces services.
Heureusement nous ne sommes pas toujours qu’une profession !
« Tirez sur le masque pour libérer l’oxygène » traitant de la difficulté du monde de l’entreprise, le harcèlement au travail, le burn-out, il était difficile de faire abstraction des RH. Néanmoins, je suis bien consciente que nombreux sont les RH qui subissent les mêmes difficultés que le commun des mortels, pris en étau entre la direction et les salariés, ils font parfois ce qu’ils peuvent.
Certains passages de ce roman peuvent paraître déstabilisants, mais il n’y a pas une vérité. Et encore moins dans un roman.
Des problématiques avec les Ressources Humaines que semblent partager les lecteurs, d’après les commentaires reçus. Alors si ce livre offre une manière de dépasser certaines difficultés inhérentes à tout boulot, s’il permet d’entrevoir de l’espoir au milieu d’un tunnel noir jusqu’à l’heure de la retraite, alors la mission aura été accomplie.
Voilà, si la fonction de Ressources Humaines bénéficiait de vrais moyens pour réaliser leurs nombreuses tâches, je suis certaine que les salariés y trouveraient leur compte. Et les commissaires aux comptes également avec un Ebit radieux. A bon entendeur, salut.
Voici quelques extraits de » Tirez sur le masque pour libérer l’oxygène » relatant des Ressources Humaines.
Les RH ? Des robots, lobotimisés …
« J’appris ainsi que les ressources humaines pouvaient se transformer en des machines de guerre. Si seulement le titre « Ressources humaines » pouvait devenir un jour, dans un monde idéal, un label de qualité, gage de compréhension et d’empathie, délivré uniquement après enquêtes de satisfaction, questionnaires et tests de labellisation. Un des premiers tests pourrait même être d’interroger les personnes du service RH. Étaient-elles à même de comprendre ce que signifiait le mot « humain », ou était-il déjà trop tard ? Des robots, lobotomisés, avec pour mission de détruire toute once d’humanité et réduire surtout les effectifs. »
La RH qui aborde le sujet de vos vacances … aie aie
« Debout, trônant superbement près de son grand bureau, d’un ton dégagé, elle (la directrice des RH) amorça, badinement, la discussion : — Bon, tu pars parfois en voyage, et donc tu as bien un passeport en cours de validité ? me demanda-t-elle d’un ton affirmatif sans réellement attendre une réponse de ma part.
Debout devant elle, commençant à être mal à l’aise, j’essayais de comprendre l’enchaînement (oui on le sait tous, votre responsable des ressources humaines qui aborde le sujet de vos vacances est toujours déstabilisant).
— Euh, oui répondis-je dans un murmure hésitant ne voyant absolument pas quel était le rapport avec sa demande d’entrevue.
— Eh bien le travail c’est pareil, reprit-elle convaincue et tentant surtout d’être convaincante. C’est la Responsable des Ressources Humaines qui te parle. Il faut impérativement que tu aies un CV à jour, puis marquant une transition presque imperceptible, au cas où une belle opportunité se présenterait.
— Oui peut-être (et cette fois-ci franchement mal à l’aise), je ne cherche pas de nouvelle opportunité, essayai-je de lui faire comprendre toujours sur un ton hésitant, mais sincère. (Le ton bien connu du collaborateur discipliné qui fait des efforts face aux propos incohérents de son supérieur. Oui celui-là exactement !) «
Lorsqu’il devient urgent de se transformer en RH pour gérer carrière et bien-être !
« Une formation dont je n’aurais jamais pu rêver, perdue d’avance dans les méandres d’un processus hautement administratif de demande de formation aux Ressources Humaines en quatre exemplaires, malgré le fameux Compte Personnel de Formation de 150 heures. À travers mon expérience en entreprise, je constatais que chacun devrait être son propre responsable des ressources humaines, établir son bilan de compétences, définir ses objectifs, valoriser ses acquis, gérer ses formations, car bien souvent le service RH d’une société se limitait à n’être qu’une pâle copie du conseiller de l’ONISEP pour les lycéens. Si loin des réalités et des nouvelles tendances de métiers. Mieux valait s’être déjà fait une idée sur les orientations possibles avant de parcourir les fiches métiers des rayons d’un CDI ! »
La loi tacite des Ressources Humaines
« Elle appartenait malgré tout au clan des RH, celles et ceux qui jouaient si bien avec l’avenir des autres. Celles et ceux qui représentaient la loi et l’employeur. Celles et ceux qui défendraient toujours le N+1 par rapport au N, selon la loi tacite des Ressources Humaines. Celles et ceux qui n’avaient peut-être pas compris qu’« effectif » signifiait des femmes et des hommes avec leurs craintes, leurs questionnements parfois, leurs difficultés souvent et à certains moments, leurs besoins de soutien pour continuer à aller de l’avant. »
Pour vous faire votre propre avis, retrouvez le livre sur Amazon. Qu’en est-il de vos relations avec les Ressources Humaines de votre entreprise. RH, qu’est ce qui, selon vous, apporterait des améliorations au quotidien des salariés ?
Des questions ou des problématiques en particulier, découvrez nos offres d’accompagnement ICI
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